i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
