She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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