planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we're making bets on your personal life
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize