I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
