So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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