OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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