Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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