I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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