who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Barsexuality is the new black.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
