Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
