apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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