am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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