he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We are two peas in an std pod
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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