I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
