I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
