why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
