Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
