Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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