Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
