he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
