good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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