he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
