i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
