I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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