my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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