well I can't set my house on fire every night
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
