It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
