had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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