last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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