bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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