I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
