don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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