The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
