opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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