So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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