seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
