i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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