I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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