My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
