did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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