my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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