I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
