Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
