I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
