If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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