So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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