I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
