Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize