What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
