I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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