What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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