she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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