i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
