Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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