what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
