oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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