I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
