How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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