It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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