he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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