i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
