It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
