Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
