? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
